Letting go and moving on

My father is the eldest of 5 brothers and one sister. As always happens in joint families, my paternal grand mother was defendant on my father for supporting his younger brothers and sister.

My father started earning when he was barely 20. He gave money for brother’s education, marriage, business so on and so forth. My mother also had her own share of struggles. My father built a house in his father’s name so that his brothers would not feel left out. Later my mother forced him to get another plot of land for his own use. I still remember the fights my parents use to have. My father could not hear a word against his family. Anyway my dad later sold that plot. Then, one of my dad’s brother intervened and asked my dad to get a plot in my mother’s name. Needless to say that is the plot of land on which my parents have today built their home.,Around 10 years back there was a huge fight where my dad’s brothers wanted the earlier house which my dad had built. As usual he did not argue and gave it to them at some nominal value. ( As the house was in my grandfather’s name, it was divided into 6 equal portions.. one for each brother).

My dad only started saving after I was born. When I was doing my engineering, I stayed alone with my dad’s brother’s family. My grandparents were also alive then. My dad was then based in the middle east. Then was the first time I saw firsthand how money minded people can be. Those 4 years have left a very bitter taste in my mouth.

Today everyone is settled and no one talks to anyone much. My dad now says let them be happy in their home and we will be happy in ours. I somehow am not able to tolerate this. I feel my dad was used ( with his permission). All this has also somewhat affected my relationship with my father. I get angry at him for very small small things. My dad keeps saying forget it… come out of it… I am sorry, I should not have left you with them alone. Somehow I do not know what to do. To be very frank I want some sort of revenge from my dad’s brothers. But then I also know this is not correct and my parents have only themselves to blame. They let themselves be used… Still I am not able to shake out this feeling. It still hurts after 9 years. I would really like to mend my relationship with my father. I want to forget all this. Somehow I am not able to. I need to figure this out.

I am sorry for the long post. This is the first time I have written this and I guess I got carried away.

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3 thoughts on “Letting go and moving on

  1. hi Deea

    Its a story of most families of our parent’s generations. I hope our parents are happy with their decisions. May God Bless them with health and happiness. Please take care

    Like

  2. This brings memories.. We were settled in city and my mums sisters and brothers were all settled in village, so all their kids came over to live with us for years to do their schooling and college ..

    BUt once that was over none of them has the common sense to ring my parents to ask how they are doing.. IT is sad because we all lived together for so many years and you are right I feel that my dad was used tooo … after all he was the one paying all the bills for food and all ..

    Such are the ways of the world mam… Your father is right let them be happy where they are and you be happy where you are ..

    Like

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